Back in primary school in my numeracy class, I learned that 2 is greater than 1, 100 > 2, 1000 > 100, and 2000 > 1000. I was taught that this was mathematically absolute, no matter where in the the world I go, this would remain true. So I adopted this numerical knowledge as the truth. Then I found out that 100 U.S dollars is greater than 1500 Rands. My world was turned upside down. I mean how can 100 be greater than 1000? It violated the mathematical truth I held (that’s foreign exchange rates for you).
This is true for the identities we create about ourselves and those around us. We spend years creating truths that we convince ourselves are absolute and constant. Then we encounter challenges that prove us otherwise, but we choose to be in denial because these truths served us well in the past. So we overlook these incidents and label them as anomalies. We do the same with those we value. This is probably why someone would choose to remain in a relationship that has turned violent and abusive. They convince themselves that “she’s been good to me in the past and will come around, it’s just a matter of time”, “he’s just going through a lot at the moment, that’s why he’s become violent, in time things will get better”. We even tell ourselves that “I know my value. I will not settle for less and allow a man to control me”, “a woman’s place is in the kitchen and not in a position of power, she’s only my boss on paper and that’s it”. We take all these and label them as our truths. The truth is some truths are only valid for a season. As we grow up, we change, so do some of the ideologies that we hold true.
Change is inevitable. Our bodies change every day we are on this earth. So it only makes sense that time and again we put our identities, truths, and ideologies to the test and evaluate if they are still “true” and relevant. We cannot go through our entire life in the same manner, with the same mindset and belief. It is not only impractical but is certainly the way to destruction. Whether the sky is blue or not depends on when you look at it. It was Charles Darwin who eloquently put it: it will not be the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can manage change best.
Constant evolution is imperative!
The question is: are they still true? Those values, beliefs and identities? Are they still true?
The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Long Live Love!