2020- Thank you for everything… No, for nothing!

For a while now I have been threatening to post a blog because it really has been some time since I last posted, not for lack of things to say but rather… Yah Noh it has been one eventful year for mankind that everything seemed to be happening at light speed that one needed some time to pause and reflect on whether what happened did actually happen . The Olympics was canceled, Donald Trump lost the US elections (thank goodness for that) and didn’t want to accept defeat,… oh and a lot of people died due to covid, Murphy’s law was rampant this year. A lot did happen this year, but personally this was the most challenging and demanding year. It is almost as if I am standing on my last leg as the year draws to a close. Like everyone I got to experience the full extent of the lockdown. I went through the motions like everyone but I kept my faith and hope that things would soon return to normality. Lockdown in South Africa arrived late in March, and at first we all thought this was some kind of joke and that it won’t be long before someone came out and shouted “April fool’s everybody!”… But no, that never happened, instead we had our resolve tested. We were forced to be confined within our homes in fear of the enemy unseen. The enemy that I actually believed could not hurt us Africans, I still believe that even though facts suggest otherwise. However if you look at the stats, the African continent has actually suffered way less than our European and American counterparts. Conspiracies were thrown into the mix which only made matters worse, but I digress. Whilst going through emotions of being confined to my home and in a way deprived of some of the basic and mandane privileges of being human, I lost my little brother to a car accident and for a while I thought I had things in check and under control until things went completely south at work. It was almost as if a volcano erupted within me and I lost control of everything. And just when I thought I was finding my feet again and things were getting back to normal, a dear friend of mine also his brother in a manner that still sends shivers down my spine to this day. He told me that his little brother “just stopped breathing” in his arms without falling sick or being ill, it just happened out of the blue and so quick! He relayed the story to me that 5 minutes seemed like an eternity, and just like that he lost his brother. This one seemed to knock whatever little wind was left out of my sails and brought me crashing down to earth. I have always perceived myself as an optimist but I am not going to lie, 2020 has done the most. Somewhere in between the chaos of 2020 there was also a failed romantic relationship. Like I said, Murphy’s law was rampant.

I still have my faith but I have finally given in to the fact that I am but just a creation and as such am subject to circumstances. I feel like Bojack Horseman when he said “everything is society’s fault, and we are all just products of our environment”. This is not to say that I have adopted a victim of circumstances mentality but rather I have come to understand that sometimes things beyond my control happen. Have I lost hope? No, on the contrary my faith in Christ has grown substantially. I am now a firm believer of “do your best, the rest is up to God”.

The way 2020 was so messy, I do not see any other alternative than to believe that 2021 will be better because to believe it will be worse than 2020 would simply mean that it would be better if I took a rope and hung myself by the neck. So I choose to believe that 2021 will bring with it better circumstances and fortunes because after all we have learned to normalize 2020, haven’t we? I mean what’s the worst that could happen in 2021?

Long Live Love

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