I am still at a loss for words. My mind is still finding it hard to comprehend and accept reality. I’m still hoping that my lil brother would respond to the text I sent him prior to finding out that he is no more. I am in no way asking none of you to throw me a pity party. Yes, there is a yearning for one, but the problem with pity parties is that they create a victim mentally in Mr/Ms Party. A victim mindset leads to a sense of contentment in lack of responsibility. I choose to believe that I am anything other than a victim of circumstance. I also still have choices to make going forward which I intend on taking responsibility for. I am not denying the feeling of powerlessness but I am not allowing it to consume. The truth is sometimes an ugly pill to swallow:choice were made which led to very undesired and unwanted outcomes. If only he’d listened to reason and stayed a while, maybe he’d be here and I wouldn’t be writing this. I had hopes and plans which are now rendered moot. Nonetheless I have to roll with the punches. Life is for the living! My brother LIVED! I hope it was to his desires and that he has no regrets on the other side. I am still living and will find the strength to carry on and do better with those that are still here with me in this life. I am thankful for the vital lesson in all this sorrow: time is ever fleeting and tomorrow is not guaranteed. It is unfortunate that Stucha had to pass on for this to be drilled in my head. I am hurt now, but the same fleeting time will be my remedy! LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING.

Long Live love

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